VW Tiguan Elegance eTSI (2024) Review

IT’S got be said, I’m annoyed with the boy again and he is making me drive angrily.

Teenage boys just don’t seem to have a body-clock like the rest of humanity and if you didn’t drag them kicking and screaming from their stinking pits they would stay there all day, I’m sure.

The best you can expect is for them to get up in their own time with a parent prompt every 22 seconds. I wouldn’t care but the journey across country is for his benefit, on this occasion, certainly not mine. He has asked to see the dental hygienist as he has a party in his diary and wants to be minty fresh breathed.

But he still makes us late setting off and the twisty section to the motorway has to be driven in haste.

Just as well then that the latest VW Tiguan has all the under-skin technology needed to keep us planted to the road.

The third-generation Tiguan, according to the bumph, comes with adaptive running gear, DCC Pro, which optimises dynamics and features world-first two-valve shock absorbers similar to variable dampers familiar in motorsport.

It is also equipped with a vehicle dynamics manager for the first time which controls the functions of the electronic differential locks and the lateral dynamics components of the controlled shock absorbers.

Sounds technical but the reality is that we reach the motorway in one piece and I’m impressed enough to come out of my grump and actually start talking to the boy again.

He’s quite impressed with the new tech on the 2024 Tiguan which features a comprehensively revised design inside and out and latest-generation Volkswagen technologies and assistance systems.

He gets to work fiddling with the huge touchscreen and digital cockpit explaining to me where the essentials are to keep me sweet – he knows my technophobia well. As designated techman he also Bluetooths my phone to the car, hones in on Spotify to play my soothing sounds and sorts the satnav. He does have some uses then.

I’ve still used too much fuel being heavy footed with the throttle and the digital readout is announcing 44 miles per gallon from the mild hybrid, 1.5 litre petrol, which does actually drop on to two cylinders from four when cruising to save fuel, which is good. I’ll dock the extra petrol money from his wages. So harmony is restored.

Tiguan has been a shining star for VW and it remains the company’s best-selling SUV with sales exceeding 7.5 million worldwide. My friend has one and I asked her why she loves it.

“In a crumbling world of terrorism, war and cost of living crises the Tiguan is solid, dependable and makes me feel safe, especially when I have to travel far from home,” she reports.

I know what she means. It’s not the most flashy of motors, nor the sportiest, but as a real-world workhorse you instinctively feel it will always be there for you. It is large enough to feel protective and swallow the detritus of everyday life but not so large that you can’t squeeze it into small places or park easily at the supermarket.

The new looks are great and it appears purposeful, neat and tidy. In Nightshade Blue metallic with Melange-Soul black upholstery it is also rather fetching inside and out.

Tech-wise it wants for nothing and the infotainment system transforms the interior into a veritable concert hall for the trip home from the dentist, a time to educate young son in the music of yesteryear, which luckily he finds cool as it’s the soundtrack to the latest Deadpool movie. You can never hear The Sun will Come Out Tomorrow from Annie enough in my view and we duet together long and loud.

It's a 160 mile round trip to the dentist and apart from the dodgy start it has been a fun and enjoyable experience for us both – and the new Tiguan is largely to thank.

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