Ineos Grenadier (2023) Review

A COUPLE of blokes walk into a pub for a pint or two and start chatting about cars.

They love the old Land Rover Defender and wonder how great it would be to start building them again.

The pub is the Grenadier and one of the blokes is one of the richest men in the country, billionaire chemical engineer Jim Ratcliffe. And that’s where what sounded like a joke stops becoming one as six years later the chat has solidified into a serious contender in the 4x4 market.

Land Rover wouldn’t sell the name and who can blame them, it is truly iconic. So Sir Jim named the vehicle after his company and his local pub – then spent £520m developing it. But don’t worry he has deep pockets. Ineos is the third largest chemical company in the world with 26,000 employees in 29 countries.

There’s a Grenadier name badge just under the hinged windscreen under which it reads ‘Built on Purpose’ and guess what, it is with purpose too.

This thing is hewn from granite, forged from steel, moulded from magma. It weighs in at 2.8 tonnes and feels like it would outlast the Roman Empire. It melds rugged British spirit with German engineering and amalgamates avionic and marine design into a very cool no nonsense workhorse.

Grenadier is available as a five seater station wagon or four cab pick-up called the Quartermaster. While in some ways it could be seen as stripped back and utilitarian it’s not, it is actually well specified and appointed, and it feels less fragile and more robust than many premium price off-roaders.

To look at, the Grenadier is a modern day Defender and will appeal to those who loved the old stalwart. It is very big and very square, like a G Wagon, which is no coincidence given that its body is made in the same factory as the Mercedes leviathan. The overhangs are so short they are barely there at all which will be a boon when it comes to off-roading and entering and exiting steep inclines.

Aesthetics hark back to when aerodynamics were not an issue and the general flatness means that you can strap on all manner of accessories including sticking a tent on the top, which is great if you fancy heading off round the world on an adventure, or are busy in the mountains rescuing people.

In a world where drivers are faced with bewildering touchscreens, Grenadier favours analogue over digital and functions are controlled by chunky dials, knobs and switches, all clearly labelled. The overhead console could have come from an aircraft while the central transmission tunnel area has a maritime feel – brilliant, I love it.

No doubting then that it looks the part and is built to last. But what is it like to drive? Well, the motor is familiar, lusty and powerful, so there’s the first tick in the box. The eight-speed ZF automatic gearbox is fab too. But don’t expect Grenadier to be frugal – it has to shift 2.8 tonnes – so you’ll do well to scrape 20mpg.

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On the tarmac the ride is truly excellent thanks to top grade Bilstein shockers. Body control is exceptional and it doesn’t feel lumbering in any way. But the hydraulic recirculating ball steering is weirdly vague and worst of all doesn’t self-centre. So when I pull out of Silverholme Manor, on the Graythwaite Estate, on the shores of Windermere, I’m on full left lock and start to head towards a drystone wall, requiring much arm flailing to get the Grenadier back on the straight and narrow.

Hmmm? Not sure about that though the porridge feeling does protect your thumbs when you go off roading.

Off piste is where the Ineos excels going from good on the road to great in the rough. Graythwaite Estate has crafted some very challenging routes among the bracken and the woods, enough to put all-terrain vehicles through their paces when I was last there testing them a few years ago.

This is where you can’t believe your senses. You look through the windscreen at terrain at which a mountain goat would baulk. Jagged rocks, rock faces, gravel, mud, trees, gnarly tree trunks, deep murky water, nothing fazes this vehicle. Even when you have nasty cross cambers and ridiculously steep gradients up and down, it barely breaks sweat.

Four wheel drive, high and low range boxes, three diff locks (centre is standard and front and back diff locks are an option), electronic aids like hill descent control, short overhangs, and a monstrously torquey motor make Grenadier virtually unstoppable. And as we traverse the roughest of rough our fragile bodies are held in check by amazing Recaro seats. It evens has a bespoke Pathfinder satnav featuring a waypoint-based guidance system.

With so many options it is safe to say it’s unlikely there will ever be two Grenadiers the same. The ability to configure one to the customer’s specific needs is off the chart, whether they are for leisure or professional use.

With a braked towing capacity of 3.5 tonnes, 2,000 litres of load space and even 5.5 tonnes of winching power to help others and yourself out of trouble there can be no better solider than a Grenadier.

It is always good to see a new brand hit the roads and for those people looking for a unique workhorse, or others going in search of adventure, or whether you just need a run-around to the pub, the Ineos Grenadier is a talented and very cool alternative.